Fallen Tears
by MepphyDvl
Summary: Legolas thinks back on his past and deals with the pain in his own way CHAPTER 3 IS UP!!... Rated R for mature subjects, thoughts of suicide, suicide attmepts, sexual contact and may lead into some SLASH A/L... PLEASE R
1. Chapter 1

Alright people… this is an AU fic, it's the same basic background but different events, ok? And also this will most likely turn into a slash as I get into the story… this is also my first attempt at an angst fic… and it's going to be filled with tons of angst… go figure haha… the beginning part is just a basis of what the story is about and what it's dealing with, I know it's a slow beginning but more dialog and action will come starting the next chapter! Thanks! PLEASE R&R!!!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Aliana and Orlias… no Leggy tho… sadly haha

A/N: _Italics are flashbacks _

.:|:.

_Fallen Tears_

Chapter 1

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"Light is gone… darkness has come… Gandalf is gone… death has come…" The words slipped through the thin lips of the Mirkwood archer. He sat alone, apart from the rest of the company, he did not need for the others to see his weakness. He did not need them to see him dealing with the pain of Gandalf's death. 

He sat perched upon the highest branch of a large tree. His back pressed against the trunk, one leg bent on the branch while the other hanged freely over the side, swaying ever so slightly. His blue eyes were vacant, staring at nothing, while tears fell in steady rhythms down his face. He hated himself for crying, he vowed never to cry again after that one night… the night his life fell apart… 

_"Legolas??__ Where are you?" Came the sweet melodic song of her voice. The voice of an angel… his angel. His angel which he thought would belong to him, forever. Her name was Aliana, the most beautiful elf in creation… her hair as light and fine as gold, her eyes violet, which sparkled with light, even in darkness. Her laughter like all the angels of heaven singing their joyful song… singing their song, to him. _

_And Legolas, the finest prince in all of Middle-Earth, knew that this angel belonged to him. Perhaps he was blinded by her beauty, or by her light of innocence, that he did not see the real her. _

_Walking up behind his love, he wrapped his slender hands around her eyes softly. She smiled, knowing that her prince had come to her. "Guess who?" He asked tenderly as he began trailing soft kisses down her throat to her exposed shoulder. _

_"My prince," she breathed out as she leaned into his touch. Enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin, she turned slowly and embraced him tightly. "Where have you been?"_

_"Right here… where I plan on staying," Legolas smiled, he looked into her eyes before lowering his head and catching her lips in his own. He tilted his head lightly and gently coaxed her lips apart with a simple flick of his tongue along her lower lip, sliding his tongue gently into the mouth of his lover, enjoying hearing her moan into his mouth as they began the dance of their tongues together… he knew then, that he was the happiest elf alive._

Tears fell when he remembered how happy he was with Aliana… how beautiful their relationship was. How every elf in the entire kingdom of Mirkwood envied their love. Every male envied Legolas, while every female envied Aliana. Everyone thought their love was perfect…

_Legolas heard the laughter of Aliana from outside her door. He had stopped in for a morning visit before he set out to hunt with the royal guards, planning on surprising her with his appearance. He knocked on her door for several minutes before coming to the conclusion that she was too busy to come to the door, so he took the liberty to opening the door and inviting himself in. He smiled to himself when he heard his Aliana laugh lightly into the air once more, but his smile soon faded when he reached the room to his love. _

_He could almost hear his heart shatter into a million pieces when he saw the sight of his best friend kissing, and making love to Aliana. His best friend Orlias of over 1,000 years, his most trusted and loyal friend… with HIS angel. His angel who was smiling and laughing as she knowingly betrayed the prince. Legolas could feel the anger building up inside him as he stood there and watched the scene, hearing the kisses and smelling the sweat as the two continued pleasuring each other. The hatred for her began to take over his love… only HE was allowed to touch in her that way… only HE was allowed to make love to her that way…only HE was allowed to have her… _

He sniffed as the tears violently began pouring down his face as the painful memories returned. He choked on a loud sob that was rising up in his throat as he remembered that sight. He remembered when he learned that Orlias and Aliana betrayed him for over 100 years, while all that time he thought that Aliana belonged to him. 

The heavens must have heard his pain, for they opened up and released their tears. Mixing with the salty tears of the Elven Prince. His hair clinging to his wet face, he brought his knife out of its holder and looked at his reflection in it. Only to find the face of a battered soul… to find the face of a self-loathing creature who felt the desire for death strongly. He brought his arm to wipe the sweat, tears, and rain from his eyes, but stopped when his arm was in front of his face, remembering how he dealt with his pain. He lifted his other hand up to pull back the material of his left sleeve up to his elbow, revealing the scars of hundreds of lines across his forearm. He smiled to himself and lightly traced over the scars, wincing slightly when he nicked himself with the knife. Watching the small amount of blood flow from his wound, he remembered the night he got his revenge…

_Aliana grasped the note tightly in her left hand as she walked down the halls of the Mirkwood palace towards the prince's chambers. The note read for her to meet Legolas in his room at midnight exactly, he had a special plan for her that night. She anxiously walked to his door and knocked 3 times quickly._

_"Come in," she heard the deep voice of the prince from inside. She slowly opened the door and walked into the room, finding Legolas sitting on his large circular bed, which hung from the ceiling by four large chains. She smiled and walked over to Legoas and sat beside him. _

_"So many memories on this bed…" She said smiling, running her hand through his long silky hair. "Good memories…"_

_Legolas turned his head and looked at her… before pushing her back onto the bed and positioning himself on top of her, pinning her down beneath him. She smiled, knowing what was about to happen. He brought his lips down to her and hungrily began kissing her. _

_A sharp knock on the door came right on schedule. He froze, "Would you like to continue this in your bedroom? Where there is more… privacy?" He asked, kissing her._

_"Yes." _

Legolas laughed bitterly as he remembered the rest…__

_Legolas opened the door for Aliana and allowed her to enter first, like a real gentleman should do. He quietly shut the door behind them and covered her eyes with his hands._

_"Legolas, what is this?" She asked._

_"Just a little surprise I had planned," He said, leading her down the hallway to her bedroom. He opened the door and released his hold on her eyes, "Look…"_

_"Oh my goodness…" Aliana gasped as she looked around the room. The room was lighted by few candles, which sent a comforting glow throughout the entire room, on the bed laid pure silk sheets with white rose petals spread on top. And scattered over the entire floor were dozens upon dozens of red rose petals… blood  red petals…_

_"Do you like your surprise so far?" Legolas breathed onto her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She nodded. "Good… because I have more planned." He smiled to himself as he picked her up and carried her over to the bed, and gently lied her down. "Now just lie there like a good girl…" He said sweetly as he began tying a silk cloth around her eyes._

_"Legolas, what are you doing?" She asked, beginning to get a bit nervous. He was never like this before, he usually wasn't into bondage. _

_"I'm just planning on having some fun with you tonight, that's all," Legolas said as he began tying her hands and feet to the bed posts. _

_She moaned at the thoughts of what Legolas would do to her… how much she would love feeling him dominate her completely. _

_Legolas reached into his boot and pulled out a long dagger and laid it down next to her head, which she was oblivious to…_

_He climbed on top of her and started kissing her jaw, then slowly downward to her collar bone, and finally stopped when he reached the material of her dress, right above her breasts. Her breathing began to get deeper as he ran his hand along her covered womanhood. _

_"Legolas…" she moaned as he ran his other hand up her leg under the dress. He brought his mouth up to cover hers as he entered his finger into her. She didn't notice when his left hand reached up and grasped the dagger. _

_"I have a question my love…" Legolas said as he suddenly withdrew his finger and stopped kissing her._

_Her lips frowned when he stopped, "What is it?"_

_Legolas smiled knowingly and brought his mouth close to her ear, "How long have you been sleeping with Orlias?"_

_He could feel her body stiffen underneath him, "I have no idea what you are talking about!"_

_"Don't lie to me!" He hissed into her ear. "I saw you with him yesterday. Here, in this very bed!" He brought the knife up and pressed it to her throat._

_She gasped when she felt the cold steel of the blade against her throat, "Legolas… it was nothing! I swear it!"_

_"How long has it been going on?!" He demanded, pressing the knife harder into her throat._

_"Forgive me… it was an accident! It meant nothing to me! I love you Legolas!!" Aliana cried desperately, tears beginning to dampen the silk covering her eyes._

_"HOW LONG?!" Legolas screamed into her face, he was furious the she was lying right to his face._

_She sobbed loudly as the blade began cutting her skin, "100 years..."_

_Legolas choked on the sob that was rising up in his throat, he could feel the tears start welling up in his eyes. 100 years?! His love had been betraying him behind his back for over 100 years?! His angel?! 100 years?! "Oh God…" He gasped pathetically. "100… 100 years?" He could feel the room revolving around him… he felt as though he was in a nightmare… his perfect world had been turned upside down…_

_"I'm sorry… I'm sorry Legolas, I never meant to hurt you! I love you… I love you so much!" Aliana cried desperately as blood began trickling down her exposed throat, staining her white dress. _

_He gritted his teeth and stared at the face of the elf under him, his tears falling, mixing with her blood.  "The bed that you have betrayed me in shall be your death bed, you whore!!!" He screamed and pressed the knife harder into her throat and slit it deeply. Blood from her main artery splattered onto his long blond hair… contaminating it. He sat there and watched with a smile on his face as her body withered beneath him. He smiled hearing her choke on her own blood… and laughed quietly when all life passed out of her. _

_He got off her slowly and wiped her blood from his face… only smearing it more. He wiped the blood off of his blade on the sheets and returned his dagger to its proper holder. His eyes twinkling as the white sheets turned red with blood… as the white rose petals were stained red…_

_He turned and walked out of the room with the largest satisfied smile on his lips._

Legolas stared at his arm and realized the five new slashes on his arm before he knew it. He hated himself… he wanted to die. He had taken the life of two elves… yes, they never did find out who the arrow belonged to. The arrow that lodged itself between the eyes of Orlias… Legolas' "best friend". 

"DAMMIT!!!!" Legolas shouted into the rain. "Why?" He asked miserably to no one in particular "Why does everyone hate me? Why do I hate myself??!!" His head hung as he looked at the blood mix with rain… it felt good… it felt good to see the blood flow out of his arm. 

He had cried that night… the night he took the life of Aliana. He cried when he realized that he hated himself… not because he killed her… but because he convinced himself that his friends, family and self hated him. He loathed himself. And the tears shed for Gandalf reminded him of the last time he cried. That fateful night… 

"LEGOLAS?! LEGOLAS, WHERE ARE YOU?!" He heard a voice call from below. He did not need to look to see who it was. He already knew that it was the Ranger… it was Aragorn, the only human who knew the story. The story of his Aliana. He was the only person alive who knew it, besides himself. 

Legolas sighed to himself and realized that he would never relieve the memory of Aliana. He hated her… which caused him to hate himself. Which saddest part was that he actually loved hating himself, he loved hurting himself. He smiled when he looked upon his arm, smiled because he felt brave when he did this…

He pulled his shirt sleeve down to cover his new wounds, which had already began to heal and stood up. He looked down at the ranger who was frantically searching for his best friend. Legolas jumped off his branch he was standing on and landed noiselessly behind Aragorn. He tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention, the ranger yelped in surprise.

Legolas laughed bitterly, "Not too bright for a ranger."

Aragorn smiled, despite himself and ignoring the spiteful tone of the elf, "Not while in the presence of an elf. Where have you been my friend?"

"Oh I was just… thinking." Legolas smiled. His skills of lying had increased greatly over the years, he was proud to know that he could lie his way out of anything, and have people believe him.

Aragorn eyed him suspiciously, "You've been crying."

"Nay… it's just the rain… it's affecting my eyes, 'tis all."

Aragorn shook his head, not believing the elf. "Let me see your arms Legolas."

The elf couldn't control the shocked expression flashing over his face, "Aragorn! What is wrong with you? I'm fine!" The elf stalked past the ranger and walked back to the camp, leaving Aragorn standing in the rain as he watched the elf walk away. 

"This is going to stop." Aragorn vowed to himself. "One way or another, I'm going to stop this all."

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ok… that was just the beginning to let you know the past life of our friendly elf… I think I'm going to make our elf demented… ::laughs evilly:: as I said… this is going to turn into a slash. :-D… please tell me what you think of this so far… be kind, I'm a wuss so I don't take well to flames haha, bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey… I'm not even going to say anything about that one flame that I got telling me that I was sick… I told you what was in the story and that person chose to read it anyhow… oh well, I guess people don't ALWAYS follow directions… haha… but please use correct grammar… I don't own sick so don't say "your sick"… the correct way would be to say "you're sick" as in, you are sick… haha just don't flame me, please!! I own nothing!! PLEASE R&R to tell me how I'm doing… tell me if I'm doing a good job, or you can just be extremely mean and hurt my feelings by telling me that I suck L … oh well… no flames bye!          

.:|:.

_Fallen Tears_

Chapter 2

.:|:.

Aragorn's eyes followed the slim figure as it walked across the camp site. He had been eyeing the elf for the past couple of days, watching him for any sudden change in his character, although there were no obvious signs that something was troubling him, Aragorn still had a nagging feeling inside of him telling him to not be so quick to come to a conclusion.  Aragorn knew that Legolas had also been taught how to keep his facial expressions neutral. So finding out if the elf had a problem by just observing him from a distance was relatively close to impossible.  

He watched Legolas as he angrily stalked over to his bag after having an argument with Boromir over a small blood stain on the sleeve of his tunic. Legolas had calmly replied that it had been there since they left Moria but Boromir had been insistent on having a look at Legolas' arm to make sure that he wasn't hiding anything, which caused Legolas to lose his temper uncalled for. For the past couple of days that's all Legolas had been doing, he was constantly starting small arguments with members of the fellowship about the smallest of things that shouldn't even have been brought up in conversation. But Legolas' stubborn attitude and defiance of thinking he was wrong caused the small arguments to lead into screaming matches, and often resulting in physical outbursts, which Aragorn usually had to brace himself between so the fights didn't turn deadly.  Aragorn would also notice that after every fight Legolas had, he would usually excuse himself from the rest of the company and go off on his own. Only to return anywhere from a couple of minutes to a couple of hours and usually clutching his arm or cleaning his dagger.  Aragorn noted these small changes.

A low growl was heard from the kneeling elf as he began digging through his pack. "Dammit! Where the hell is it?!" He mumbled to himself as he searched for something. He furiously started throwing his stuff on the ground as he dug deeper. "…never find anything…"

Aragorn cleared his throat, "Need some help?" he offered, only to be quickly stabbed with two blue icicles.

"No, I'm fine." Legolas said after sending a death glare at the ranger for even presuming that he would need any help of any kind. Aragorn shook his head sadly but didn't let the harsh tone of the elf offend him in any way. So he decided to ignore the elf for awhile and just relax until it was time for dinner, which the hobbits were already busy preparing. 

"Finally!" Legolas said. He pulled something out of his pack and quickly shoved it into the folds of his tunic.  He stood up and walked over to a large tree just outside the borders of the camp, he leaned his back against it and slowly slid to a sitting position. Aragorn observed as Legolas closed his eyes and softly sang to himself, his ears perked up as he strained to recognize the tune of which Legolas was singing.  But the elf was singing too softly to determine the song.

"Mister Strider sir? Sir?" Pippin asked, tugging on the black legging of the ranger, trying to get his attention. 

Aragorn looked down at the small hobbit and smiled, "Yes, young Pippin?"

"Well… I was just wondering. Actually we were **all wondering, when would we be arriving in Lothlòrien? Do you know, sir?" Pippin asked timidly.**

"I should imagine that we would be arriving there sometime tomorrow night if we leave on time in the morning. If we had kept at our regular pace we would have arrived there sometime ago, but because we have been resting more to ease our pain of Gandalf our arrival time has been delayed." Aragorn answered. 

"Oh, alright… thank you sir. But I also had another question… and you do realize that I speak for the rest of the company also when I ask this. It wasn't only me wondering it!" Pippin said hurridly, sounding somewhat hesitant to voice his question.

Aragorn kneeled down so that he was eye level with the hobbit, "Yes? Go on."

"Do you promise not to get mad at me for asking this?"

He chuckled, "I don't know… I guess I'll try to contain myself." 

Pippin gulped and nervously glanced at Legolas, gesturing towards him. Implying to Aragorn what the question was about. "What… what's wrong with Legolas, sir? Why does he act so strangely lately?"

"Well…" Aragorn tried to think of what to say to the hobbit without having to tell him the entire truth but also not to lie to him about it, "Legolas has been going through a difficult time. He's having trouble coping with the death of Gandalf, the pain of losing him is bringing back old memories of his that he thought he'd forgotten."

"Oh… thank you. I was only asking because we were worried, you know that right?" Pippin said, not wanting to ask anymore questions… despite his natural curiosity in his hobbit nature.

"Yes, I understand that. It's only natural for you to be concerned for a member of your company." Aragorn said, he then stood up over the hobbit, "Anymore questions tonight?"

"No, sir. Thank you, sir." Pippin said and walked back to join with the other hobbits. 

"Pippin?" Aragorn called after the small hobbit. Pippin turned his head around to give all his attention to the ranger. "Don't call me sir, please?"

                "Aye, sorry."

                Aragorn smiled and turned his attention to his fingernails. He grimaced when he found layers of dirt caked underneath them. He sighed and unsheathed his knife, but just as he began picking his fingernails, he was distracted by a reflection caught in the knife. The reflection of a certain elf trying to sneak away from the camp site into the dark.  "Legolas?" Aragorn called without turning around. He heard an exasperated sigh from behind him where the elf stood.

                "Yes, Aragorn?" The elf asked rather snippy through clenched teeth. "Is there something you would like to talk to me about?" 

                "Yes, come here."

                Legolas walked over to the ranger and sat down beside him. Watching as Aragorn picked the crud out from underneath his fingernails. He glanced back up at Aragorn's face and waited for him to say something, then looked back down at the knife in his hand when he didn't speak. Legolas sighed in annoyance and glared at the ranger, who's full attention was still placed on the task of cleaning out his nails. Legolas finally had enough of Aragorn playing his little ignoring game, "Quit acting like an ass Estel!" He spat rudely.

                It was then that he got the Ranger's attention, Aragorn stopped what he was doing and turned his head sharply and glared at Legolas, "Don't you suppose that's **exactly what I should be saying to you Legolas?"**

                Legolas' eyes widened in shock, his face turned to disgust, "What the hell are you talking about? No, that's not what you should be saying to me because I'm not acting like an immature human!"

                "No, you're right. You're not," Aragorn said, his tone not softening, "you're actually acting like a stubborn brat prince who's the biggest prick elf there ever was. Hell, you're probably the only elf that's **ever been labeled as a prick!"**

                Legolas didn't lose his shocked expression, his tone growing angry, "What?!" He was about to continue but the ranger interjected.

                "You stalk off by yourself, you start numerous amounts of fights with members of the fellowship for no reason whatsoever, you act so distant from the rest of us, you act depressed half the day and mad the rest, then you insist that everyone hates you and you hate yourself because of it! Legolas, what do you want? Do you want to be released from the fellowship? Do you want to leave? Is that what you want?!" Aragorn demanded.

                "NO! I just want you to lay off my back and quit asking so many damn questions all the time!" Legolas shouted as he stood, the ranger standing with him. "All you people ever do anymore is nag at me for little things that you shouldn't even care about, question me about the things I do and never leave me any peace?! What do** you want from ****me?!"**

                Legolas didn't wait for Aragorn to answer, he quickly sprang to a branch 10 feet in the air and disappeared into the treetops. Leaving the company sitting silently, no one daring to say anything, no one knowing **what to say.**

                Boromir glared at Aragorn, "That was low."

                "Aragorn," Frodo said silently from his position on the ground, tears beginning to swell up in his eyes. "Bring him back." 

                Aragorn sighed, he had no idea where to begin looking for the elf…

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                He kept running along the branches, jumping on another when one ended. He didn't stop, his nimble Elven feet not making a sound as he ran through the trees, his speed and grace not even daring to disturb the peaceful leaves at rest in the trees.

                ~ How can you even think about going back there again? You're better off on your own. At least there's no one here to laugh at you, to tell you that everything you do is wrong, to scold you, or… to stop you…~

                Legolas froze in place as that thought crossed his mind  ~There's no one here to stop you, no one to stop you from killing yourself… no one… no one would care~  He slumped against the tree and sat down on the branch.

                ~ Hah, this position feels familiar… just doing this last night~ Legolas thought bitterly to himself. He smiled when he remembered his secret. The secret hiding in his tunic. He reached inside his tunic and pulled out a long folded up cloth. He slowly started unrolling his "treasure" only re reveal a long white steel bladed knife. 

                He held it up and admired it's beauty and it's strength. The power inside this knife was exasperating to the elf, the knife could take the life of any being with only a plunge of his hand. It could take his life with only a slash in the perfect spot on his wrist… he rolled back his sleeve and with the knowledge of that thought in his head, he smiled as he slowly brought the knife down to his exposed arm.

                He stopped when the cold steel touched his skin, enjoying just the feeling of the blade. He closed his eyes, which heightened his senses in other areas. The touch of the blade was more intense, more breath taking, more relieving. The tears began flowing as the incident back at the campfire replayed in his mind. The fellowship must think he's crazy, but it's alright… he is. All he needed was to feel the blood, he only needed to feel the blood flowing out of his open wound, pouring all his fears away, pouring all his self-loathing away… pouring away all his pain.

                Just then he could hear the sound of Aragorn's voice calling out to him in the darkness… begging him to come back to the fire, to be safe within the borders of their camp. His heart sank when the eyes of Aragorn found his own in the tree. 

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                "Master Legolas, we were so worried about you," Sam Gamgee said as he saw the ranger walking back to the camp while holding onto the arm of a very sad looking elf. 

                "Thank you Sam. But I'm alright." Legolas said.

                Aragorn let go of Legolas' arm and walked to the center of the camp, next to the fire. He stood tall and spoke clearly, "I am going to take the first watch tonight… who will volunteer to do the other three?"

                "I'll do the second," said Legolas absent-mindedly from the edge of the group. 

                "Merry and I'll do the third!" Pippin spoke up. Receiving angry glares from Merry for volunteering him for taking the third watch.

                Gimli raised his axe up in the air slightly, "I've got fourth."

                "Alright," Aragorn said as he looked upon the company, "in the morrow we shall leave immediately for Lothlòrien and should arrive there within sunset. I suggest that you all get some rest tonight. You'll need it once you enter the city. Good night."  
  


                Everyone politely murmured their good night's to each other and settled down in their own makeshift beds. Within thirty minutes Aragorn could tell that all members had successfully fallen asleep. Even the distraught elf… he silently walked over to the sleeping elf, who was propped up against a tree trunk and kneeled down in front of him, looking into his vacant eyes. 

                "Oh, what ails you my friend? Why has your past come back to haunt you so?" Aragorn asked, partially talking to himself, and also wishing that Legolas was listening to his words also, "Why won't you let me help you? Do you not trust me?" He couldn't have expected the elf to answer, but to only see the eyes stare blankly back at him was nerve wrecking for the human. "Let me help you in the way I've always wanted to help you in…" Aragorn whispered quietly to himself. He sat for a couple of minutes more before slowly standing up and surveying the area then walking off. He was too busy to notice the lone tear falling gently down the prince's face, as two eyes watched him walk away…

To be continued…

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Hey, sorry for any mistakes I may have made in this chapter… but I don't exactly have a beta reader… what the hell is a beta reader anyhow? I don't even know haha… someone please review and tell me, but tell me nicely please, don't yell at me for not knowing! :-D thanks… PLEASE R&R… no flames tho… 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey people… thank you for reviewing! It helps me get these chapters out faster… ::hehe::… anyhoo thank you to PepperVL for informing me about the beta reader… you are so kind and generous! Lol… I'm glad you guys are enjoying my little suicidal Legolas… and to Angaaldaien, yes Aragorn does know of Legolas' past and whatnot, but he didn't see the knife. Sorry for not being too clear on that, but thanks for mentioning it!!! :-D Please continue to R&R…

.:|:.

_Fallen Tears_

Chapter 3

.:|:.

"Legolas, I love you… why are you doing this to me?" Aliana's voice rang through his head, all he could see was black, he was staring into the darkness with only the sound of her voice in his ears. 

"Because you betrayed me… you stepped out of our circle of love! You chose to take another lover without my consent, you chose my **best friend!" Legolas could hear his voice screaming, but his lips remained immobile, as if his thoughts were speaking for him. He knew this was a dream, for he had it before… it was a reoccurring dream that plagued his mind and has been doing so for the past 486 years. **

"But you killed me! You stole away my immortal life, you stole my life and the life of your best friend, Orlias!!" He could hear her voice screech in his ears, the sound was unpleasant to hear and he would have shielded his ears had he hands to move. 

"Stop it! Stop it at once! I need to hear this not!!" Legolas screamed once more, his mind was spinning and he could feel his stomach start churning as a bloodcurdling scream of a woman rang through the air. The sound was so horrible, so grotesque that Legolas screamed right along with it with pure horror dripping off his voice. The scream soon became gargled as her voice were choking on something, then suddenly changed to moans of pleasure just as quickly as it had came.

The moan was escaping from Aliana's lips as Legolas lay atop her, pounding his erection deep within her. It was quickly recognized as the first time Legolas bed Aliana, it happened only a short period of 8 months after they met, which was considered close to milliseconds in the lives of elves. 

Legolas could see the scene happening, it was if he were standing there in the room watching himself and Aliana make love together. He walked over to the other side of the room and gazed from a sidelong view at Aliana, how happy she looked with her hair clinging to her sweat filled forehead, how she smiled through her moans of pleasure. The scene almost made Legolas smile to himself as he remembered the exact happenings of that night…

But then a look of horror flashed across Legolas' face as he watched the elf on top of Aliana change from his form, to the form of his best friend. And he was there again, watching as Orlias lay on top of his woman, both of their eyes fixed on Legolas as if mocking him… showing him what they were doing behind his back! The laughter rose out of Aliana's mouth, she was laughing at him! Laughing at how pathetic he was for not finding out about their relationship long ago, for not figuring everything out the day after it all started. Laughing at his weakness… 

Legolas gasped and took a step backwards as the white sheets turned blood red and the bodies of the two lovers were stained red with blood also. 

"You did this to us you bastard!" Orlias said through clenched teeth, as he glared at Legolas. "You will receive payback, in this life or the next!"

"No…" Legolas sobbed, he fell back against the wall in a fetal position and buried his face in his hands, he shook his head in disbelief, "this can't be happening… this **can't be happening!" **

"Oh… but it is definitely happening… and it's happening to **you my prince." Said a cold voice from above Legolas' head. He slowly looked up as a knife was brought down into his heart.**

"NO!" He screamed.

"Legolas! You did this to me! Legolas! Legolas! Legolas!" Her voice screamed at him.

 The world around Legolas grew dark as he began screaming out his apologies. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Legolas! Legolas! Legolas!"

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"Legolas?! Legolas?!" Aragorn cried as the elf continued screaming in his sleep.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" Legolas yelled in his sleep. His forehead was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his eyes wide open and filled with terror. Aragorn had to wake him up, the screams were getting too loud and he didn't want to wake the rest of the fellowship. 

"Legolas! Wake please!!" Aragorn cried desperately. But the elf continued screaming, he was thrashing around wildly, his head constantly banging on the tree trunk behind him. Aragorn was afraid that he was going to severely hurt himself if he kept this up, but even violently shaking Legolas wasn't waking the elf up.

"I'M SORRY!" Legolas screamed one final time, Aragorn fell back on the ground in horror when Legolas' body instantly froze in place. Aragorn gasped when Legolas' body didn't even relax to fit to the ground, but it remained frozen in its previous position. His back was arched, mouth open wide in a silent scream with pain showing all over his face, his fingers clawed up in the air, as if reaching for something.

Aragorn stood up quickly in fear as he looked at the elf, he backed away. His hands reflexively flew to his mouth to cover his sob as he looked at the picture of horror in front of him.  Never before in his life had he seen anything like this, never in any elf or human. "Legolas…?" He asked pathetically, thinking that his small word would cut through the barrier that was holding Legolas back from reentering reality. A tear fell from his face as he continued staring at the elf, frozen in time. His eyes darted over to his canteen, he ran over to it and grabbed it, he clumsily tried unscrewing the top but his fumbling fingers didn't seem to work properly. He stopped suddenly when the elf began to speak. 

"Kill me," he whispered silently, even Aragorn having to struggle to hear him. "Just kill me, please… please." His silent pleas getting louder, before erupting in a loud scream, "Let me die!!!"  Legolas screamed, then slumped back down against the tree in his regular sleeping form. Aragorn stood in shock grasping the canteen in his hands so tightly that his knuckles slowly turned white, so he did the only thing he could think of at the time. He threw the water onto Legolas' face, waking the elf up. 

"What the…?!" Legolas yelped as the cold water flushed onto his face, he blinked his eyes trying to get the water free from his vision. He rubbed his face and brought his sleeve up to his face to wipe the water off him. Before turning to look up at Aragorn, who was standing silently above him. He knew why Aragorn had awaken him, "Was I too loud this time?" He asked pathetically.

"Extremely." Aragorn said, he stood with his hands on his hips still holding onto the canteen glaring down at the elf. "Legolas this had to stop, tell me what the matter is right now before I force the truth out of me."

"The truth is that I'm tired and I want to be left alone to sleep." The elf said before leaning back against the tree again and turning his head away from Aragorn. 

Aragorn stood in disgust as he looked at Legolas, "Will you quit lying to me you demented elf?!"

Legolas sat up in shock when the words 'demented elf' escaped the rangers lips, "How dare you?!" He growled, enraged at the blunt statement from the ranger. "Have you no respect?!"

Aragorn snorted in spite of himself, "How can I show respect to an elf who doesn't even show any respect for himself… especially for his life when he wants to die!"

Legolas stood quickly and glared at Aragorn, eye to eye. "Who said that I want to end my life?" Legolas lied.

"You did."

"No… I didn't." Legolas said, he brought his face an inch away from the rangers face and continued glaring. "If you proceed to try and barge into my business, my company in the fellowship shall be **no more."**

"Do it then, for I will not give up." Aragorn taunted the elf. He knew Legolas better then the back of his hand and he knew that the elf would never leave the fellowship just because of him. "By the way, your watch starts in about half an hour so I suggest that you don't fall back asleep." He smiled contently to himself before walking back to his makeshift "post".

Legolas sighed and walked over to the fire, his back to Aragorn. He sat down close to the fire, his eyes fixed on the center of the warmth, his thoughts disturbing him. 'Just tell him dammit! You're going to die if you keep this up! Maybe that's what you want…'

Legolas knew his thoughts were correct, his longing for death would overcome his love of life one day, and he knew he would perish. But the thought that scared him most of all is that he also knew that his death would be by his own hands. A sudden pang in his heart pulled him from his thoughts. He moaned in pain as his eyes squeezed shut, his clenched his teeth together to avoid screaming out from the pain in his heart, he knew it was grief, and he knew it was slowly going to consume him to the point of his death. The pain subsided as fast as it had come, leaving Legolas in shock. He having never feeling the pain of grief, realized after it was over that the pain had comforted him in a way. 

The thoughts of pain bringing him happiness brought him back to the memory of his knife, the knife from 200 years ago that had left him lying in his bed with blood covering his entire mattress as it poured from his wrists. He remembered hearing his father crying above him as the doctor insisted that Legolas would die within the night. Legolas had been so happy with the thought that he would die that his wounds began to heal themselves before the lack of blood in Legolas' body could have any effect on him. And before he realized it, he was healing, much to his refusal…

A tear fell from Legolas' eye as he stared at the fire, wishing his life was like a fire. A fire was alive and deadly just like himself, before it was either consumed by water or sand, so simple to put out the light of a fire. Legolas wishing that it had been that easy for himself to die, in all his numerous attempts at bringing himself to death he had sadly never been close to successful. But he knew that one day, he would.

He reached out to the fire, his heart controlling his body, not his mind. His curiosity of what the fire felt like took advantage of his will as he placed his hand in the dancing flames, he sucked in sharply as the pain hit him suddenly, before turning into pleasure. The pleasure of his mental pain willowing away. He reached his hand farther into the fire, not even caring about the severe burns forming on his hands. He was completely oblivious to them as he smiled when the fire continued to consume his skin. 

Aragorn had been lost deep in thought about what he was going to do with Legolas when he noticed the elf with his hand in the fire. The second he saw it his mind didn't pick up the danger in it and he continued on with his thoughts. But then the realization hit him, and he screaming the elf's name he pushed him out of the fire, staring in horror at the toll the fire had taken on the elfs hand. 

"By the Valar! Legolas what have you done to yourself?!" He cried as he tenderly began tending to the open sores on the elfs hand.

"Relieving myself…" Legolas whispered. Before passing out from the pain in his heart once more.

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Sorry if you all didn't like the chapter… I know it wasn't that great, considering I wrote in it in a span of 20 minutes haha… but please R&R telling me what I did right and what I did wrong… thanks!


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